The idea was cool and all: a Klingon (the once sworn enemy of the Federation thanks to some run-ins with the Shat) serving aboard the Federation flagship, but damn Worf! Suggest ‘attack’ enough times while sitting at the round table and the other officers stop taking you seriously.
Picard: Several Romulan ships have decloaked just outside of the Neutral Zone and the Enterprise is the only Federation vessel in the quadrant. Any suggestions?
Worf: As head of ship security I say we attack our enemies.
Picard: No, Worf, I believe this calls for an act of diplomacy.
Worf: But Captain, I must insist—
Picard: Worf, go to your room!
Rebecca writes:
Since my creativity usually comes in spurts (read: I see something that amuses me at least once a day; I see something that makes me laugh so hard my sides hurt only about twice a week or so) I will begin my very first post by hogging most of the page.
It’s sort of the same way I hog the bed on weekends, all splayed out and taking all the sheets…limbs all akimbo like the dog does when she’s really tuckered out.
I digress…
Let me just cut to the chase. Betty White is completely, unequivocably and undeniably badass.
Bad.
Ass.
Facts.
She has won 6 Emmy awards. She has received 18 Emmy nominations. She has been my hero since her “Golden Girls” days - her St. Olaf stories always made me laugh. (“Gerkanenaken?” Trust me, you don’t want to look that one up). She was the only reason to ever watch Lake Placid.
She made me laugh so hard at her recent appearance on SNL that I nearly cracked a rib. She’s taken some pretty hard lickings over the years and just keeps right on ticking. I think she’s tougher now that she’s older. See?
“Wizard of Ass!”
She is so awesome they even made a comic book about her.
Sort of.
$3.99?? And worth every penny!!
And er… ummm… ahem. Well, then there’s this:
Well, the good news is it’s free. I know, riding a centaur that looks like the late John Ritter is probably a bit much. BUT she has a flaming chainsaw. AND her outfit is faintly reminiscent of She-Ra or Xena (that’s a whole different topic, friends- to be announced) and well, because I almost want to scream “What in the name of Sam Hill do you people drink in Portland?!?!?!”.
Oh and I also added it because it says “ASS” no less than four times on the cover. Now THAT’S a vocabulary we can all appreciate.
I want to be just like Betty when I grow up. Hell, I want to be that awesome right now.
Rebecca writes:
Online shopping at its finest.
Just what I was looking for: a sexy, clingy pair of cheeky panties in the perfect shade of “dude”.
Thanks, Victoria’s Secret. I dig your foreign call centers, too.
